It is morning here in Idaho and the sun is filtering through the trees with their tender bright green leaves and pink flowers. The intensity of the deep blue sky as a backdrop for the fresh growth of spring makes me look at color combinations in a whole new way. The bright colors are a photographer's dream.

While living at the ocean I longed for bright colors and fresh flowers to photograph. They were there, though not in such great numbers, but often the skies were grey and dull or the wind blew relentlessly and I couldn't keep the camera still. When a beautiful day did come along, there was so much to capture, I never knew where to begin first. The beauty was there in the waves crashing to the shore, the thousands of birds that flew through every year or the ones that stayed, the people having fun, the sea creatures, the intense clouds, the views and the berries, I just had to work hard to find it, which made me a better photographer.

Can you tell that there is part of me who misses the smell of the salty air, the sound of crashing waves and the honking of the geese as they flew overhead morning and night? Or the Eagle that visited my yard every morning? My hummingbirds and the peace and quiet? I do miss those things and wish it were possible to spirit myself over there once a week just for a long snort of the salt water air on a warm and sunny day when people are playing in the ocean.

There is no perfect place and no one place that I want to call my home. I want to explore all of the hidden places and capture them in light and in darkness. Sitting still has never been an easy thing for me to do and photography makes it even less so.

There are many things that I love and two of those are walking and photography. Snubbing my nose at the oil man and not adding to their record profits is high on my list also. I've been here in this beautiful town by the lake for three weeks now and have been without a car for the entire time. The first week was great because everything was new. The second week I was tired and sore but kept going anyway and the third week I was battling illness. I've had a few rides to the store and even borrowed my son's car for a couple of hours - and $10 in gas - but other than that I've been on foot. Aside from the obvious problem of getting tired of photographing the same places every day, when there is an over-flowing dam just down the highway, or a lilac parade just a ways further, is the physical part of it.

I never like to leave my camera behind but when walking everywhere I need to be prepared for the different activities that one squeezes into the day. That means carrying things like glasses, money, lip balm, water, extra lenses and batteries, a book or journal and maybe a towel to sit on. All of that should be no problem because that is what backpacks are made for. Except that I have this bad arm and shoulder and the backpack is killing me. So I try a fanny pack but I have this low back problem and so a shoulder bag but it pulls my other shoulder out of whack. And, what if I want to go somewhere for coffee and look pretty and maybe meet some other people? It is pretty tough to be attractive when you look like the bag lady!

So I am in this quandary. I don't want to go back to total reliance on an automobile just because it is more convenient, but would prefer to use one more as an occasional treat to go somewhere to take photos, or as a necessity for the shopping trips. I don't want to start getting into the car in order to drive the six blocks to downtown, yet it would be nice when I want to carry a tripod along. Or something like that.

All of this is putting a damper on my photography because at the moment it feels like more of a chore. And yesterday I sprang free by leaving the camera at home and taking a walk around the whole hill without stopping. At the moment life would be easier if I weren't, in my whole heart and soul, a photographer.

I could have gotten the Land Rover fixed next week but instead am using some of the money to rent a car and drive to Mt. Rainier. It is just too good of an opportunity to pass up. Plus, it is what I do - go places, take photos, and write. These days I look at people with small economy cars and am jealous. Well, I look at people with cars and am jealous. Here I am, 50, and walking the streets with a backpack on my back.