A few days ago my Myspace page had a friend request from a woman who was seeing Mr. Passive/Agressive, the truth dodger I attempted to befriend this past winter.

"Why would she want to be my friend," I wondered.

He was far out of my mind and now that I'm physically further away from where he lives, I felt safer.

Before adding her to my friend's list I read her recent blog entries. It appeared that she was experiencing some similar difficulties. I felt for her.

When I met him I saw before me this tall, decent looking man who appeared happy, enthusiastic and kind. He loved my photography and wanted to help me market it. But there was something about him that held me back. I didn't feel comfortable getting physically near to him and so, being up front and honest about it, told him that we needed to work on a friendship first.

He seemed to have a problem with honesty but there was nothing substantial that I could prove. I thought that my fears were just my difficulty getting close to someone. He is bi-polar but told me that he took his medication everyday and it worked well for him. He said he didn't drink but that wasn't true. His medication made him feel blah, as it turned out later, and so, no he didn't take it everyday. He smoked pot "to make me feel normal." Ooops, big warning sign there. I won't date - be intimate with - a 50 something year-old man who still smokes pot in order to make them feel normal.

When he told me that he'd spent the week trying to decide which day to kill himself, I could no longer maintain a friendship with him. It became clear that my instincts were right on and the whole thing had nothing to do with my fear of intimacy.

I've never looked back, thinking about trying again. My self-esteem was intact and my mind clear.

So, when she contacted me and asked some questions, I felt that it was only right (woman to woman) to let her know that she wasn't alone. Still, I felt weird about it. Most of what happened was already written in my blog. I showed compassion for him - as if he were a sick friend - and tried to be kind while still being honest. After all, on the surface he did some kind things. Though there seemed to be hidden expectations that he denied when I asked him about his motivation. "I just really want to see you take this trip," is what he said.

We can only go by the information we are given. When a person lies, we aren't responsible for their expectations. He told her several lies about me but that was to be expected. I didn't waste a lot of time with his stories. Apparently she'd caught him lying to her and he told her that he had a problem with embellishing because of his low self-esteem, but that he wanted to get better.

Get better? He claims. Now he is telling the story that I sought her out in order to destroy their relationship. I blew up. That is just plain crazy. Here I am, dealing with my own problems and minding my business and this woman comes along and is questioning her reality. I tried to be kind to both of them.

I am reminded to mind my own business and not let myself get drawn into the drama of others. I told her to leave me out of it.

My, I wonder, where did that come from? When did drama become nauseating? Now the two of them have become my teachers.

You know, my car needs a $500 repair, but the damage was caused by the mechanics who replaced my CV joint, my cupboards are bare, my accounts are empty with 17 days until pay day, my body hurts from walking everywhere and I'm in a new town where I know hardly anyone. And I've thought about drinking more than once - despite going to meetings. I've got my own problems to worry about.

Ah, the lessons that we learn.