This is exciting! I finally was given some photos of my new granddaughter and gosh I just think she is the cutest.

I don't know much about little Liisa and don't even know if I'll ever be allowed to see her. I'm pretty much guessing that no answer to that question probably means no. The whole situation tears my heart out but there seems to be nothing that I can do. Well, and I'm very emotional right now. The flu has been kicking my butt most of the week, along with finally getting my car in for repairs, only to have the mechanic call and tell me that he was charging 3 times the amount for the part - $680 for a $225 part! Of course he called when I couldn't lift my head and any amount of noise drove me insane. Luckily I've had a friend helping me with this whole thing and he was able to call him back - still the guy is charging a hefty amount for the part.

I'm supposed to be getting ready to move, along with taking care of some other business and everything seems almost impossible. Getting some photos of Liisa sure lifted my spirits. I told myself that it would be enough but my heart aches to know her. I think about changing who I am so that my son might not be hostile towards me but know that I cannot. Ultimately he already has no respect for me and my trying to just please and not be myself would do nothing to make that any better. You would think that this wouldn't be so difficult after all of these years but it just keeps getting harder. I mean, after all, only really bad people don't have their kids talking to them - that is the way it seems any way. Some times our kids have their own problems.

Well, guess I just need to get over this flu and take things one tiny step at a time. I'm so tired of being sick and so tired of having such a hard time. I don't understand any of it. So blah, blah, blah. Doing something feels so much better than to be sitting around and feeling sorry for myself. Guess my heart just doesn't feel like it can take any more right now.

Still, I finally got pictures of my granddaughter and isn't she beautiful! And I do have some one who is nice enough to help me with the car.