As promised, the days get easier. I'm moving on to be the person my mind always said I was. That's the promise to myself.

The other day I wrote a note to an editor, apologizing for being a slight bit tardy, and in it wrote: Conor's loss was traumatic for my heart but will also provide me the freedom to travel around and take photos, so thus begins a new chapter wherein I'll have more time for my career."

Later, I wondered why I'd written that and just what it meant. After some thought I realized that with Conor, and because of him, I found my passion for writing and photography. And with Conor my ability to follow my passion was limited because of his limited social skills. So it was during the last year when I became less patient with my circumstances - it was like someone holding up an ice cream cone but not being able to quite touch it, let alone taste it. Along with the profound loss of my companion comes new opportunities - ones that he would want me to reach for.

I made him a promise to always take care of him and it was one that I was able to keep. Now it is time for other things. The pain lessens as the days wear on but the memories remain intact - as does the things his life taught me.

So, on to the next thing. I'm moving out of this house and into a tent travel trailer, with plans to traverse the continent, taking photos and writing. I want to meet new people and learn about how they live their lives - these are hard times for so many - and I also want to find beauty. The real and the surreal, the odd and the normal...

©debydixon2008